Our top 10 favorite reasons to hate Slovenia
Hate much? Let me tell you something: we do. We hate that our neighbor’s garden is more beautiful. We hate that it rains today. We also hate it when it’s too sunny. We hate our public transport, but we endure. We hate our traditions but praise them nonetheless. We hate our problems but drown them in wine instead of solving them.
Welcome to Slovenia. We’re a small country with a large country’s problems. Or so we like to believe. But then we love our country as well, and nature, and the history, and our neighbors (in most cases).
The relationship between the Slovenes and our country is a bit unhealthy, we’d say. But, luckily for you, still very unique!
Because we hate to complain by ourselves, join the ride with a glass of wine. Help us with the burden and find out what are our favorite reasons to hate Slovenia with such passion!
1. Slovenian trains are ridiculous!
Honestly, Slovenian trains are ridiculously slow. They run only a few times a day and sometimes what should be a quick ride to work, turns into a proper Slovenia travel experience.
In fact, it takes so much time to travel from one part of Slovenia to another, that people went so far as to develop their own public transportation. The result? The system works twice as better, as it is twice as fast and twice as cheap.
On the other hand, since you’re probably visiting Slovenia as a tourist and want to make the most of your stay, forget about all I’ve just told you. Take the train, any train really, and sit back and relax.
Prepare to feast your eyes! Enjoy the steady yet lazy sound of clickety-clack while you take in the idyllic countryside with cows grazing liberally, mists from the deep woods that roll over hills, and flatlands full of wheat shining golden in the late summer sunset.
PS: for the best experience, we recommend the ride should last at least one hour
2. Highway traffic jams are too regular
A regularly scheduled nightmare, traffic jams are an occurrence that happens way too often for the taste of those who spend a lot of time on the road.
The most hellish situation probably occurs during the summer, when the Coastal highway gets packed with shiny burning hot metal, the smell of gasoline, loud impatient honking, and people waving hand fans to ease the waiting time.
The solution? Stay away from the Coastal highway during the weekends. You can benefit greatly from the highway system in Slovenia in any other circumstance!
I imagine you’re wondering How so, right this moment?
Well, let’s revise the geography of Slovenia: you can reach Ljubljana (the capital) in an hour from more or less any part of the country you’re in.
Choose your accommodation in Ljubljana and make it your vacation home. Slow travel movement is the new way of traveling.
Why should you care? Because it makes it so much easier for you to plan day trips without the need for any extra accommodation! This works even better for those who don’t like to plan ahead at all.
Imagine waking up on a sunny August Tuesday and having the liberty to go whenever you want to: wine tasting, swimming in the sea, shopping in Italy, hiking in the mountains, or just driving to another town to go for lunch! That’s what we all do, why shouldn’t you as well?
BLED ISLAND IN JULIAN ALPS
3. Slovenia? Huh? Nobody will know where I’ve been
You mean Slovakia? Where is Slovekia? Isn’t that a province of that cold country we visited 30 years ago? But I don’t speak Russian!
Well, the Italians are still confused about where in Slovenia Italy actually ends. And the majority of Europe think we and Slovakia are the same country. Oh, and most of the world has never heard for our country! Still, all that doesn’t mean this destination makes it a lost cause for you.
It’s quite the opposite, really! We could brag and convince you into coming because you’ll miss out so much if you don’t but let the photos in this article do that instead.
And just to calm you down: the travel world is aware of the existence of our small country on the sunny side of the Alps. We’re not just making this up! If you don’t want to take our word for it, have a look at the following article, where you can see Slovenia through the eyes of the famous publishers!
PS: you may want to move here, you’ve been warned!
PIRAN ON THE NORTHERN ADRIATIC SEA IN SLOVENIA
4. The seaside? What seaside? There is no coast in Slovenia
You’re right. You’re probably thinking Croatia, Greece or Spain with their dreamy white-sand beaches that stretch into forever with gentle waves of warm water coming in, water so clear you can see all the way to the bottom…
There’s no way that the miserable 45 kilometers of Slovenian coast can ever compete with that! But, white tiny sand gets stuck in your swimming suit, in your beach bag, your hair, your sandals, and your sunglasses! And we’re pretty sure that’s not what you want!
Plus, the dreamy long beaches can become boring with time. We offer beach time entertainment package! Because most of the beaches are located in towns (or close to them), you can easily walk to the center or the promenade to get a tasty scoop of homemade gelato, refreshing drinks, and lunch at a local seafood restaurant without walking for miles or needing a transportation.
The best part? Some of these towns offer a spectacular scenery of medieval cobbled streets, cute cafes on the waterfront, and warm summer nights (yes, you can leave your cardigans in your hotel room!). Stop by at a spa if you’re at it and enjoy a healing mud bath in the heart of Slovene salt pans!
LJUBLJANA AND ITS VIBRANT STREETS
5. I mean, Slovenia is SUCH a TINY country!
Yes, yes it is. There’s only 2 million of us and to get lengthwise from one part to another, it’d probably take you 3 hours by car.
It’s a bit ridiculous, but we don’t like to think about it this way. Monaco is also small, so is Vatican, and Switzerland, after all. And we all praise Switzerland for its natural beauty and the amazing things you can see there, don’t we?
We may be small in territory, but we’re quite big in everything else. Our culture and our lives are entwined with tradition, with footsteps of other great countries we were once part of, and the Slovene spirit.
What is the spirit that I’m talking about? As Celine Da Costa in an article for Forbes concluded on the Slovenian mindset:
“One of my favorite things about Slovenia is the simplicity with which people still conduct their lives. Despite their work ethic and drive, Slovenians enjoy the art of slow living. The size and outlay of the country help shape this mentality: Slovenia is so small that it doesn’t take long to get from one place to the other, and life is much calmer and simpler by nature.”
WE HAVE BABY DRAGONS. FOR REAL!
6. Honestly, what about a big monumental attraction?
Machu Picchu. The Eiffel Tower. The Stonehenge. The Sidney Opera. Sure, you want that photo in front of a monumental and world-famous attraction to add to your wall collection. Well, who’d blame you? Machu Picchu is fascinating; the Eiffel Tower is beautiful!
Let me disappoint you right at the beginning: there is no incredible and breath-taking attraction in Slovenia that masses of tourists would flock to. This isn’t Venice, it’s not even Berlin (even though Ljubljana resembles Vienna).
Does that mean you should skip Slovenia travel altogether? Absolutely not! Just because we’re out of flashy and crowded sight everyone wants to visit, doesn’t mean there’s nothing to do here at all!
After all, you’re coming to a country where history, tradition, and nature all coexist and live in harmony. If you’re looking for a place to leave loud traffic, stress, junk food, pollution, and masses of crowds behind, we invite you to visit Slovenia!
PS: if you’re a trophy hunter, you might be interested in seeing the baby dragon in the flesh!
ANA ROŠ AND HER (EATABLE) FOOD ART
7. “I could eat a sausage in Germany and a juicy hamburger in the States”
Honestly, Slovenia may not be your number one priority when it comes to culinary extravagance. Our traditional cuisine comes down to potatoes, meat, and lettuce. Throw in an occasional stew, a sausage (yes, similar to that in Germany), and you’re almost there. Did we say almost?
Each region brings another tasty addition to the table and if you look beyond the basic menu I described, you’ll be able to find gems you’ll want to taste again and again.
Do you like homemade? We’ve got you covered. We all love homemade food, we cook it regularly, but the best stews come from the hands of our grandmothers. Really, there’s nothing like a bowl of a hot steaming jota on a cold winter night!
Do you want more exquisite? Well, one of the Slovene chefs, Ana Roš, has been proclaimed The World’s Best Female Chef in 2017. She even appeared on Netflix. But she’s not the only one! Slovenian chefs are taking their culinary experiments to a new level. Prepare to praise and lick your plate clean! Just make sure to book in advance.
Let those taste buds rave!
PS: still wondering about that jota (pronounced yoo-tah)? You’ll have to visit to get the tasty answer yourself!
8. Slovenia? But it’s not trendy. Who even goes there?!
Well, we hate to tell you, but you’re just plain wrong. Much more people come here that you might think. Much more people visit yearly than even we’d like to believe (remember the traffic jams)!
How much would that be? Well, last year the statistics recorded 12 million overnight stays in Slovenia, which makes it 13% more than the year before. And let me remind you there’s only 2 million of us!
It gets crowded in certain areas, but don’t let that scare you away. You can stroll the Portorož promenade and observe the people shopping, dining, and sunbathing.
Or, you can find the hidden getaways where only the crickets, cows, and green meadows will keep you company in the typical village away from the buzz.
After all, there’s something for everyone here!
9. Ibiza Party holiday? Well Slovenia’s just plain boring
Let us get something straight: when you decide to visit Slovenia, you probably aren’t looking for parties that last from dusk till dawn. If that’s what you want, you go to Ibiza instead!
But that doesn’t mean we’re just a plain old boring country with cows grazing, churches ringing bells, and people who never have fun.
There are a lot of events happening all year round. One of the most famous is probably the Ptuj carnival, but there is something to do every month, even several times a month! Have a look at this guide on our top Slovenian festivals you should definitely consider visiting once you’re here. We promise you won’t get bored.
Especially if you stay in Ljubljana! Visitors are amazed about how many free events we have going on on daily bases in numerous squares and streets during the warm months; basically, from June to September you only need to stroll around the streets of Ljubljana and you will never be bored.
Don’t forget: You’ll be in Slovenia! We love our food, our wine, and we love to enjoy ourselves as much as we can. And you can too!
IT IS WORTH TO TRAVEL A BIT LONGER TO GET TO SLOVENIA. ASK OTHERS WHO HAS BEEN HERE 🙂
10. Seriously, how do you even get to Slovenia?
Okay, we admit. This one is a bit tricky. Coming from the States, there are no direct flights that would take you straight to Ljubljana, the capital. You’ll have to change at one of the big European capitals.
But that’s no reason to just give up just yet. For more information, have a look at this post on how to get to Slovenia, we share our best tips and tricks!
After all, wouldn’t your whole journey be more adventurous if you stop in London, Venice, Vienna, or even Paris before heading this way? That way, you get a more whole European package, which is always exciting!